A cluttered mind will nip a lot of potential in the bud. So will an unfocused mind. The career-deadening power wrought by a combination of clutter and lack of focus is a power heretofore unknown in modern times, except perhaps for the power of a Reese’s peanut butter cup, which has the ability to send a grown man worth millions of dollars scrounging for loose change. Emotional blockages are great ways to create mental chaos. For this reason, tactics having to do with the mind and with emotions are presented here together.

What do you suggest for a default mentality?
Be petty and negative.
The most surefire way to repel people who are in positions to help you advance is to complain that something’s broken without offering to help fix it.

How can I close myself off to new opportunities?
Live in the past.
This is a particularly good idea if you can dwell on some mistake you made without ever forgiving yourself for it. Living in the past will keep you squarely focused on failure and will prohibit you from ever noticing any opportunity in the present to improve your lot.

Is there a particularly good way to mismanage my emotions?
Wallow in self-pity.
They say that blood is thicker than water, and money is thicker than blood. I say self-pity is thicker than cement. At any time, pick a global tragedy and convince yourself that it happened just to make you miserable. Repeat often, until the world seems like one big crucible that exists just to put the squeeze on you.

How can I make my environment optimally conducive to my self-destruction?
Get ESPN, HBO, and VH1.
It’s 2:30 am, and you can’t decide between ESPN’s SportsCenter, a TMC showing of His Girl Friday, and a VH1 Celebreality rerun. One thing is for sure: tomorrow is going to suck. Again.

How can I share my frenetic state of mind with others?
Make everything a #1 priority.
Insist on giving your top priorities your maximum effort and attention. Be sure to have lots of top priorities; if you don’t need to caffeinate to stay on top of them all, add some more. Engage as many people to help you as possible, running them all ragged to help you check things off your to-do list faster.